


Marriage doesn't solve everything (except for when it does)

by kj_feybarn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fix-It, Sidious plans are all ruined, and was written in like thirty minutes, because no one can withstand the power of a Jedi flirting with them, but it will solve this, marriage does not solve everything, reminder that this is absolute crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kj_feybarn/pseuds/kj_feybarn
Summary: Jon Veruna had been a marriage officiator for nearly two decades and he’d seen all sorts of odd things; still, he didn’t think he’d ever had such a strange medley of individuals gathered in his office at one time. Two Kaminoans, five Jedi, a fully beskar-clad Mandalorian, and two clone troopers.“I’m sorry, whose wedding am I officiating?”A tall, imposing man in Jedi robes stepped forward. “All of ours.”
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Mace Windu, Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Kit Fisto/CC-1010 | Fox, Plo Koon/Lama Su, Shaak Ti/Nala Se
Comments: 75
Kudos: 1004
Collections: Fun/Humour/Crack in a Galaxy Far Far Away, Marry Plo Challenge, fucking superb you funky little dadaist





	Marriage doesn't solve everything (except for when it does)

“It just might work,” Plo mused, mentally going over their plans. “I think we’ve covered every possible base.” He glanced at his fellow Councillors who were all going over their parts in the plan. It wasn’t _strictly_ speaking, a matter of Council business, and the five of them could potentially get into trouble.

Shaak sighed, giving him a fond grin that showed most of her teeth—Shaak was _clearly_ ready for the hunt. “The others have it much easier, as soon as you and your battalion gets some leave, you should make your way to Kamino.”

Obi-Wan let out an offended huff. “Easy? You know my target would very gladly kill me, yes? At least both of you have targets that have to at least _pretend_ to like you.”

That, Plo admitted, was a good point. But Obi-Wan was quite possibly the most charming of all of them, he’d be fine.

Plo, on the other hand, was not capable of the easy flirting and seduction that Obi-Wan was so naturally skilled at. Helet out a heavy sigh, the sound of the air moving through his face mask echoing through the room. “Send me what details you can about the Prime Minister, I’d like to be prepared for our date.” Not that the Prime Minister _knew_ that they were going to be going on a date, but Plo _would_ be adopting his Wolffepack, and if that meant the had to woo the Prime Minister of Kamino, then that’s exactly what he’d do.

Shaak let out her own sigh. “I’ll see what I can do.”

-_-

“Commander Cody, if I might have a moment of your time?”

Cody turned, taking in the sight of High General Windu. He looked almost _nervous_ , his hands hidden in the sleeves of his robe in the same way Cody’s General did when he was hiding his fidgeting. Cody suspected it was the real reason that the Jedi wore the slightly-too-large robes everywhere, so they could hide their fidgeting fingers.

Cody couldn’t help but feel slightly on edge himself, a nervous High General was never a good sign. “Of course, sir.”

The General looked around the hangar, eyes darting from brother to brother and landing on where General Kenobi was giving them both a very _pointed_ look that Cody actually couldn’t decipher. “Perhaps we could find somewhere a little more private?”

—

Nala Se prided herself on being a logical, unaffected, reasonable being. Certainly not the type of person to be affected by something as unreasonable as _attraction_.

It had been easy enough to ignore the fact that, for a non-Kaminoan, General Shaak Ti was an attractive being, especially when the Jedi had seemed to find Nala to be something of an adversary given their difference of opinion about the clones.

But now, with Shaak Ti _smiling_ at her all the time, complimenting her, asking to _eat lunch_ with her.

Well, Nala Se was unfortunately rather certain that she could no longer claim to be unaffected.

It was fine, Nala Se was sure she had it all under control.

—

Jango whirled, blaster coming up as he moved. The Jetii from Kamino was leaning lazily against the wall. He didn’t seem the slightest bit perturbed at the blaster pointed at him. “Hello there.”

“What do you want, Jetii?”

The smile on the Jetii’s face was dangerously charming, his voice dropping to a low purr that Jango felt all down his spine. “Why don’t we discuss that over lunch?”

—

“Commander Fox!”

Fox counted down from ten as he turned around, reminding himself that he was not allowed to shoot any of the Senators he was supposed to be protecting.

To his surprise, it was not one of the Senators—though now that he thought of it, the fact that he’d actually been called by name should have been a give away—but instead High General Fisto.

“General, is there something I can do for you?”

The Nautolan Jedi gave him the sort of smile that would make Fox’s brothers feel a little faint. Fox was made of firmer stuff than that, however, and only experienced the faintest blush. “There is, actually, could we have a moment?”

—

Lama Su did not think he had ever been courted before, as Prime Minister he simply didn’t have _time_ for that sort of nonsense. But, staring at the gorgeous piece of art he’d just been gifted, he couldn’t help but think that perhaps being courted wouldn’t be _quite_ so nonsense.

“This is quite beautiful.”

He couldn’t tell through the mask, but he thought that General Koon might be smiling. “It’s so rare for me to find those who see color in a way similar to the Kel Dor, I wanted to be able to share.”

Lama straightened, it wouldn’t hurt to take some time out of his day. “Perhaps I could escort you to some of our museums? Most people are unable to appreciate our art, and I would be pleased to share it with someone who would appreciate it.”

It was always good to be able to show off Kaminoan talent, they were the greatest geneticists in the galaxy, premiere cloners. But that wasn’t the _only_ thing they were good at.

It never hurt to show off.

-_-

Jon Veruna had been a marriage officiator for nearly two decades and he’d seen all sorts of odd things; still, he didn’t think he’d ever had such a strange medley of individuals gathered in his office at one time. Two Kaminoans, five Jedi, a fully beskar-clad Mandalorian, and two clone troopers.

“I’m sorry, whose wedding am I officiating?”

A tall, imposing man in Jedi robes stepped forward. “All of ours.” He gestured to where a Kaminoan and a Kel Dor were holding hands. “Those two are a couple.” He gestured to another Kaminoan who was sitting as close to a Togrutan woman as was physically possible. “As are those two.”

“Right.”

The Jedi pointed to the Mandalorian was hovering behind the other human Jedi. “Those two are technically already married, but we’d like to make sure it’s legality can’t be questioned.”

“I see.”

The Jedi waved at where the Nautolan Jedi was clearly flirting with one of the troopers. “Those two are our fourth couple, and of course, Cody and I would be the fifth.”

“Right. Well. I suppose I should go get the paperwork.”

The sharp smile he got from all five Jedi was almost unnerving. “That’d be much appreciated.”

-_-

Sidious was _seething_ , though he certainly wasn’t letting that show. “I was under the impression that the Kaminoans had declared that the clones did not actually qualify under the Sapient Protections Act?”

It was easy to see the way the Prime Minister looked to where the Councillors were sitting, practically _heart-eyed_ at the Kel Dor Jedi sitting there. “After much thought, we recognize that given our own population increases solely through clone reproduction, we can only retract our previous stance. The Clones are as Sapient as any Kaminoan. My Chief Medical Advisor has gone through the files and has compiled the evidence showing that the clones meet every requirement for Sapience.”

Sidious grit his teeth, but kept a firm smile on his face. “I am so _very_ pleased to hear that. I fear, however, that with Jango Fett not being a member of the Republic, it would be setting dangerous precedent to simply _give_ what are essentially his children Republic Citizenship.”

From the left, that _dratted_ Master Kenobi stood up. “Actually, Jango Fett was recently made a Republic Citizen.” He smiled, that annoyingly charming grin that tended to knock his opponents off guard. “It’s one of those delightful benefits to marrying a citizen.” The Jedi pointedly folded his arms, so a beskar vambrace could be seen on one arm.

How in the world had Obi-Wan Kenobi convinced a Jedi-hating Mandalorian to actually _marry_ him.

Tarkin took the moment to prove that he wasn’t entirely useless. “Didn’t Fett give away his rights to the children?”

Master Kenobi didn’t seem at all bothered. “As Fett’s spouse, I’m suing for parental rights.”

Organa was humming thoughtfully, clearly seeing this as an opportunity to push his agenda. “Your suit would be helped if you had some precedent.”

Master Windu straightened, his annoyingly serene face mocking Sidious. “Such as some of the clones having gained their _own_ citizenship through marriage?”

Organa’s smile was downright predatory, Sidious made a note to have him killed as soon as possible. “Oh, that wouldn’t hurt.”

Windu reached into his robes, pulling out a data pad. “The marriage certificates of Marshall Commander Cody and Commander Fox of Coruscant, to myself and General Fisto respectively.”

Sidious desperately wanted to electrocute them all where they stood. They’d gotten the Kaminoans, Fett, and the clones themselves involved—the Commander of SIDIOUS’ own guard, the audacity.

The only way Sidious would be able to stop this now would be to use his executive power to deny it, and that would mean _far_ too many eyes on him, whispering about a power reach.

Fine, he’d let them have their ‘win’. It wasn’t like citizenship would do either the clones or the Jedi any good when Sidious used the chips.

-_-

“Love, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Plo looked up at his husband. Lama Su was a surprisingly good partner, and Plo found that while he didn’t perhaps _love_ his husband the way one traditionally loved a spouse, he had a fair share of affection for him. Perhaps the friendship was unexpected, but marriages had thrived off less.

“Yes, Lama?”

“Before you adopt your boys—” Lama’s head tilted a little in the Kaminoan version of a blush, “—before _we_ adopt the boys. There’s a small matter I think that needs to be addressed.”

In the Force, the whole galaxy seemed to brighten, as though they’d somehow shifted paths to a brighter future.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually really tempted to write all of the different 'seductions' that happened before each of these weddings. Some of those courting experiences were probably a WILD ride... We'll see if the inspiration strikes.


End file.
